Lesbian Love Language Quiz!

A special treat before the New Year arrives- the Lesbian Love Language Quiz! Because what better way to ring in the New Year than with some good old fashioned lesbian processing?? I know I can't think of a better way!

So sistren, do you want to find out what your lesbian love language is? Do you want to know how to communicate with your partner/soulmate on a deeper level? This quiz will help you and your lady love improve your u-hauling/ domestic partnership/ civil union/ same-sex marriage in certain states/ fun time relationship.

INSTRUCTIONS:
The quiz consists of 30 pairs of statements. Choose the statement that would make you feel the love tonight the most and record the letter (A, B, C, D, or E). At the end, you'll tally the number of choices for each letter to find your primary love language. While it may be difficult to choose between two statements, it is essential that you choose only one to ensure your results are completely accurate. Take your time, and enjoy!

1.  a) I feel good when my lady love takes me to see the kittens at Petco... A
     b) I love my woman's piercing blue eyes and dark hair, (or at least they look like this if I squint) . . . E

2.  a) I like to have a home cooked meal with my sweetheart. . . . B
     b) I feel loved when my honey goes with me to a women's basketball came . . . D

3.  a) Phone banking with my love makes me happy . . . C
     b) I enjoy lazy mornings drinking mimosas with my boo . . . B

4.  a) I feel loved when my cupcake and I are looking at a beautiful view, atop a mountain we just hiked.      (Note- in this case, it is an actual, physical mountain, not a metaphorical mountain of love) . . . D
     b) I like it when my sweetums rescues me from danger . . . E

5.  a) I feel loved when my favorite recites a poem she wrote for me . . . E
     b) I know my soul twin loves me when she joins me in a women's march . . . C

6.  a) I like going to gatherings of sistren with my bestest, particularly when there's tasty homemade vegan gluten-free cruelty-free cuisine . . . B
    b) I like to face the forces of evil with my muffin . . . E

7.  a) I value my sugar's commitment to social justice . . . C
     b) I love when my gal takes care of my animals . . . A

8.  a) I like to think about how my cookie and I are destined for each other . . . E
     b) My wifey tells me my kittens are adorable, and I like that . . . A

9.  a) Eating scones with my beloved makes me happy . . . B
     b) My precious wears buttons on her shirt to express her beliefs, and I like that . . C

10. a) I feel loved when my ducky plays hide and seek with my cat . . . A
      b) When my buttercup challenges me to a kayaking race, I know she cares . . . D

11. a) No matter the menu, I love sharing a meal with my sweet pea . . . B
      b) Flattering comments towards my pets make me feel good . . . A

12. a) Being active with my special sistren means more to me than the things she says . . . D
      b) I love to go on long walks through the countryside with my sugarcane . . . E

13. a) When my special friend nuzzles me and sits in my lap, it makes me happy . . . A
      b) It means a lot to me that my darling knows which causes matter most to me . . . C

14. a) Just sitting at the breakfast table with my honey bun makes me feel good . . . B
      b) I love it when my jewel lets me sit in front of her on her valiant steed, or shotgun in her sports car . . . E

15. a) My lamb's reactions to my kitty's antics are so encouraging . . . A
      b) It means so much to me when my (future) baby momma cheers for my favorite sports team, even if it rivals hers . . . D

16. a) I never get tired of lying in my true love's arms . . . E
      b) I love that my true love shows an interest in my dietary needs . . . B

17. a) I can always count on my baby doll to drive me to softball practice and cheer for me from the stands . . . D
      b) Nothing makes me more excited than to lobby congress with my pumpkin . . . C

18. a) I love for ma petite chou to tell me how cute my animals are . . . A
      b) I love that my dearest respects my preference for organic tofu . . . B

19. a) I can't help but tell my gem how much she means to me every time I see her . . .E
      b) My lover runs drills with me, and I appreciate that . . . D

20. a) My shortstop is my MVP for life . . . D
      b) I'm amazed at how concerned my beauty is for social good . . . C

21. a) I love that my princess only has eyes for me, even in a crowd of dining sistren . . . B
      b) I love that the light of my life helps me set up for the big game . . . D

22. a) I look forward to working the voting booths with my precious love . . . C
      b) I never get tired of looking lovingly at my kitties with the object of my affection . . . A

23. a) My dumpling lets me know she loves me by donating to my favorite charity for my birthday . . . C
      b) My baby shows her love for me by getting tickets to the playoffs . . . D

24. a) My cherub sometimes surprises me with breakfast in bed, and it makes me happy . . . B
      b) My everything always considers her carbon footprint and environmental impact . . . C

25. a) My cuddle bug shows she cares by drawing us a bath after our soccer tourney . . . D
      b) I never tire of fighting for causes we believe in with my prize . . . C

26. a) I love listening to my dream girl's witty banter/ wittily bantering to my dream girl . . . E
      b) I love when my hottie asks me to go volunteer with her . . . C

27. a) My main girl's purring makes me smile . . . A
      b) I love enjoying a drink with my sugar plum . . . B

28. a) I couldn't ask for better protest signs than the ones my sweet potato makes . . . C
      b) I being cosmically connected to my soul bond . . . E

29. a) It means a lot to me when my hero helps me with my paddling technique (on the water!) . . . D
      b) It makes me feel great when my snookums brings home kibble for my little ones . . . A

30. a) I love re-declaring my undying love for my corazon when we've been separated for a long time, like a few hours . . . E
      b) I love seeing my love goddess talking to my kittens about their day . . . A

TALLY:
A_______ B_______ C_______ D_______ E_______

KEY: (for detailed descriptions of the love languages, see this previous post)
A = cats
B = brunch
C = activism
D = sports
E = Xena and Gabrielle fantasies

INTERPRETING AND USING YOUR PROFILE SCORE
Your main love language is the one with the highest number. If the totals for two languages are equal, you are bilingual. If the second highest number doesn't fall far from the first, it is your secondary language. The highest score possible is 12.

Now, make sure your lady friend takes the quiz too so you can process your results together! What do you  need to feel loved? What does your lady friend need? Now you know! Just think of the fun you'll have discussing how to better meet each others' needs!

If you take the quiz, share your results in the comments!

Happy Holiday-ing!

Greetings Sistren! Soon, I will be embarking on a journey to holiday with my lady friend and my out-of-laws. I'm sure I will come back with many exciting tips for you all about joining someone else's holiday traditions, but before I jet off for warmer climates I wanted to remind you of our previous tips, whether you'll be celebrating the holiday with or without your lady friend. My own game plan is to bring my amazing Christmas sweater and homemade holiday headbands so I can bring my charming personal traditions to the out-of-laws home. I'm sure they'll love it!

If you'll be vacationing with your out-of-laws, or bringing your lady friend to your family's celebration, check out this previous post:
Is she really gonna spend four days with just you and your dad?

If you find yourself without your lady friend and feel unable to bear the sadness, check out these posts:
How do I live without you? I want to know.

Separated for the holidays? A coping guide.

If you have the luck of going out on a date with a hot new lady this holiday season, be sure to check out first date tips first:
Keeping you a secret: What not to spill on your first date.

And make sure you don't send her mixed signals. The last thing a lady wants to spend her holiday doing is over-analyzing your crazy communication:

Pitching Woo and What NOT to Do


I can see clearly now the rain is gone

As always, we wish you dear handful of readers a jolly ({}) holiday. In the new year we'll have our Lesbian Love Languages quiz! Stay tuned.

Lesbian Love Languages

Sistren, recently The Librarian and I were gifted an amazing gift from our friends: The 5 Love Languages. What a score! It's filled with hyper-heteronormative relationship descriptions and a hideously sexist quiz. Taking the quiz tells you if your love language is physical touch, quality time, acts of service (the non-naughty kind), words of affirmation, or receiving gifts. Naturally, we loved it, and took the quizzes from both the dude and lady perspectives. My love languages are physical touch and quality time, in case you were wondering. Yet while we found it highly informative, and I'm super excited to continue filling The Librarian's "Love Tank" (direct quote!), I found it lacked content for us sistren. Thus, I give you my own version: The Lesbian Love Languages.

 1. Cats
Some ladies show their love, or want others to show love to them, via cat. If this is your love language, you probably want your partner to talk about how lovable and cute your furry friends are, to admire their playfulness and wit, talk at length about their emotional states, etc. You may meow while flirting, act cold and aloof when hurt, and feel threatened when others encroach on your territory. You want your lady to cuddle with you and curl up in your lap to show affection. You want nothing more than for her to make you purr.
**Note: Dogs are an acceptable substitute**

2. Brunch
Some ladies show their affection through food, preferably in potluck form with friends. If this is your language, you want your partner to make you something special, like those vegan gluten free muffins you like, and make sure to save one before the other ladies devour them all. Your ideal partner would love basking in the glory of your sistren at a group brunch, but would only have eyes for you. She'd sit next to you, and you'd even drink from the same cup, because you obviously share everything. When you're not potlucking, you love for your woman to bring you breakfast in bed. You may even like cooking for her too- heating it up in the kitchen is your idea of a great time.

3. Activism
There's nothing Sistren love more than social justice! If activism is the way to your heart, you long for your love interest to show her interest by joining you at the phone bank, on the picket lines, or at the march. To win your heart, a girl has to notice the buttons on your backpack and start handing out leaflets accordingly. No dinner and a movie dates for you: you'd rather go door to door with your lady, canvassing for your favorite local candidate; serve food at the local soup kitchen; take a romantic stroll at the dyke march, hand in hand; or email your sistren friends to join your cause. When a lady starts campaigning for your heart, she has her work cut out for her, but all that hard work will pay off if she stays true to the cause.

4. Sports
We all know lesbos love sports. Be it women's basketball, soccer, softball, hiking, kayaking, what have you, we love a good game or outdoor activity. And not always for the exercise- I didn't watch the Olympic soccer games because I understood the rules, if you know what I mean. (Call me ladies!) But anyway, I digress.
If you're fluent in sports, you want your lady to join a softball team/ hiking group / kayaking class with you. Or at the very least, get you courtside tickets to see your favorite team. No fouls here- the right lady for you will combat roll with you just to show she cares. You'll only show her your inside game after she shows she proves she's got the skills to play on your team.

 5. Xena and Gabrielle Fantasies
You know who you are- pretending you're Gabrielle and your lady love is Xena, or vice versa. This love language manifests in many ways: wanting your honey to watch super cheesy lesbian films with you, reading romance novels aloud (which are mostly Xena ubers anyway, lets face it), going to Xena conventions, etc. To win your heart, your lady has to first figure out which character you imagine yourself to be and act accordingly. She would woo you by standing loyally by your side and regaling you with her witty banter, or alternatively by defending you against evil foes and being your constant protector. She'll write you a poem or sing you a ballad, but whichever your preference, she'll declare you her soulmate for life as you ride off into the sunset together (on the same horse, naturally).

But how do you know which love language you speak? Stay tuned for our quiz and you can find out.

Think we left out any lesbian love languages? Let us know!