Well friends, I have a new one for you. Or maybe it's not new for those tech-savvy ladies out there. Anyway, without further ado, I give you the vag/box/beaver/fish taco:
({})
Ladies, this gem came my way purely by accident. One of my school chums sent me this in a text message! I nearly died laughing, and asked her if she'd intended to send me a vagina. She replied that it was a hug! Obviously, this is no hug!
I showed this to the Librarian and asked her what it looked like. She immediately said "A pussy. Maybe one enlarged and about to give birth." (This was especially funny as she never uses that word.) I polled "Amy Ray" who made a face of discomfort and exclaimed "oh my!" I shared it with Indigo Labrys, who posted it on a mutual friend's Facebook wall, who of course said "that looks like a vagina."
What was going on? Could it be that hetero girls, like my school chum, are just not used to looking at lady parts from that angle, and are unaware of the resemblance to this combination of characters? I was determined to find out.
Last night at a dinner gathering, I asked everyone present to tell me what ({}) looked like. Straight girls, gay boys, and gay girls all had an immediate reaction of "oh!" and agreed it is a vag. How could it be that my school chum didn't see this?
The mystery was solved shortly, as she was also present. On her phone (something called a "blackberry," you know one of those bougie "smart" phones) has fancy emoticons, and when she texted me she chose one that has a smiley face with arms out like a hug. Huh. She had unknowingly been sending non-smart phone owners vaginas instead of hugs! OK, so this probably means I'm the only one getting vaginas. Whatever. At least I know that straight girls aren't totally unaware of their bodies, and now I have a new favorite thing to send to my ladyfriend.
Just think of the possibilities for dating! For example:
- If you're not sure of your new acquaintances sexual leanings:
- Hey girl, do u like ({})? ;-)
- Cute, simple, to the point!
- If you are hoping for a little something after your date:
- I wanna touch ur ({}) 2nite!
- Who doesn't love a flirty text?
- If you're trying to put off a suitor:
- Sorry, not n mood 4 ({}) 2nite.
- A fun way to reject a ladies' advances!
- To tell your friend about your wild evening:
- Had 2 much ({}) last nite. Coffee?
- An easy way to tell her what you need to process about! Friend process, not lady-friend process, those two things should not be combined.
- A friendly way to abbreviate any lady lovin' event:
- Goin 2 a ({}) bar, who's in?
- All your pals immediately know what you're talking about, and it saves you texting time!
I hope this emoticon will serve you well, sistren. Please let us know if you have other uses for it. I'm thinking T-shirts.
