300... Cats? Or why sistren-hood is so much better than straight-hood

Sistren, have you seen the news blowing up the interwebs, about a poor straight sistren trying to get her loser boyfriend to put a ring on it via sandwich? If not, check out this article, and prepare to be horrified. Basically, the loser boyfriend made some flippant douchey comment about her being 300 sandwiches away from a marriage proposal, and she took this as a challenge. There are so many things wrong with this, but we trust that our sistren can figure this out for themselves. As probably can most humans beyond the age of, oh, let's say 5, who have some basic understanding that relationships should be built on love and trust and not insane, asshole-ish requests.

One of Not Allured's school pals suggested we blog about it, and unlike a challenge of making 300 sandwiches to which we would never acquiesce, we decided we were up for this one.

A big take away from this article is this: if there were any better reason to embrace your sistren-ness/ abandon the drudgery of heteronormative marriage pressures, we have yet to see one. What could be more ridiculous/insulting/less relevant to a successful long-term relationship than having to make 300 sandwiches, especially when some are deemed only to count as a quarter of a sandwich? Or others are dismissed because they contain things the recipient had neglected to mention were on their forbidden foods list? While it is of course nice to take your special friend's likes and dislikes into consideration, there is a big difference between being considerate and being a doormat. So come one come all, ladies of marriageable age, we embrace you whether or not you a) want to get married, or b) can make us a sandwich.

But wait, you may be saying, what if I WANT to woo my special queer lady friend/boi with something, but they don't like sandwiches? What is a queer lady to do in this time of crisis? Especially one who wants to have an anti-wedding/ queer love celebration before aging out of my sperm donor pregnancy/ co-adoption/ peak pet parenting years?

Well fear not, sistren, as always we are hear to help you! Let us suggest alternate projects to woo your soul mate. Try one of these, and let us know how it goes!

1. 300 cats. It is a scientifically-proven fact that there is little queer ladies love more than cats! Show her you care by adopting 300 kittens! Though you may need to go to multiple shelters to get this many/ buy a bigger country home to house them all, it will be worth it!
   
   
   
   2. 300 flavors of kombucha. It's healthy, it's delicious, you can make it together, and it says crunchy granola love!
   
   
   
   3. 300 flannel shirts. Let's kick it old school and go with a classic lesbian fashion item! Even better, make it 600 so you and your special lady can match!!
   
   
   
   4. 300 pairs of outdoor sandals that can be worn on any occasion! I personally am a fan of Chacos and Keens, but I know some of my sistren love their Birks and Tevas.
   
   
   
   
   5. 300 serenades (preferably with a guitar or banjo, but a boombox "Say Anything" style will do) to the queer lady singer/songwriter of your choice. If you are new to sistren-hood and don't know who that means, may I suggest the classic Indigo Girls. There's also Brandi Carlisle, Tegan and Sara for a more pop-ish sound, or our personal favorite, Chris Pureka. (SWOON! I'd totally say yes to you Chris! What is your favorite sandwich??)
   
   
   
   Do you have suggestions for what 300 things would get your lady to the Domestic Partner alter? Let us know in the comments!