For Valentine's Day: A Mushy Post about The Librarian

Hi all, it is almost Valentine's Day! And as on the actual day I'll be going to work --> baby doctor appointment --> Valentine's dinner, I thought I'd take some time to post about how awesome The Librarian is as a partner, especially during the wild ride of pregnancy.

Speaking of which- I'm in third trimester! We're not sure how this happened but it feels wild. We're getting the baby's room together, have made a to-do list, and next month a friend is hosting a baby shower. The fetus is moving around all the time still, which still surprises and fascinates me. Thankfully I haven't seen a clear foot outline as that seems freaky, but I do see my body move when she gets enthusiastic in there. But anyway, on to the point of this post!

Ways The Librarian is the Best:

1. Tries to feed me even when all food was my enemy. As I noted in my first pregnancy photo, eating while pregnant is hard. When I first started to feel awful during first trimester, she bought $150 of vegetarian protein things in desperation to find something that would work. Just tonight, I was feeling puny and realized I hadn't eaten enough protein so she made me eat something and I felt so much better. She's the primary cook in our house, and dutifully made me bland things, and avoided cooking her meaty things as much so the smell wouldn't send me over the edge. 
2. Taking over the chores. Sistren, I like being an independent lady who can do things for myself. But when growing a fetus this is just not always possible. Winter has been terrible and never ending this year, and The Librarian has had to do all the shoveling and salting. When we could only find 1 pair of yaktrax she insisted I wear them to navigate the skating rink that our driveway became (did y'all know gravel driveways are the worst in ice? We didn't!). I also can't carry many things as there's not much space in front of me these days. Many chores I would normally do now fall to her, and she does them all without complaining.
3. Reminds me to take breaks. Similarly, I am not good at not working. During grad school years, The Librarian was great about making me take breaks. The same is true now. I'm growing a human, which is always work! The world won't end if I wait a little longer to grade papers or work on my research. 
4. Does all the baby gear research. This is where the librarianing skills really kick in! Since I first got knocked up, The Librarian started a spreadsheet (of course) with all the stuff we needed, and researched the best brands. So when it was time to make the registry she already knew what we needed and set it all up. I tend to look at the research, get overwhelmed, and close the web browser so this division of labor works great for me! My skills were best spent finding a photographer for a newborn photo shoot (because duh, cute photos are my favorite) and registering for cute clothes with rainbows, cats, and unicorns. Someone has to be the practical one, and in this case it is definitely not me. 
5. Is a true partner. I think this is partly our lesbian advantage here. In our centering class (which is the program we're doing for prenatal care, look it up, totally recommend it!) there is a little activity book, which asks things like who is going to do X job or who is in charge of making X decision. We were appalled that apparently in some relationships these things (like changing diapers, making the childcare decisions) are one sided. Is this a super hetero thing? Do people choose to live their lives this way? This is not how we roll, and we've enjoyed talking about lots of imagined parenting scenarios, how we want to talk to Fennell about certain issues, what we're excited to do with Fennell, etc. I can't imagine being in a situation where my partner wasn't just as excited and invested as me. We made this decision together, went to the appointments to make Fennell together, and that's how it will go. I mean, we know that we'll have disagreements, and that the first few months are going to be a terrible sleep-deprived time, and have vowed that even if we hate each other we'll get through it. Wish us luck!

To all my pregnant sistren out there, I hope you have a partner who's as awesome as mine. I am so glad I'm not doing this alone, and wouldn't want to do it with anyone else.

Straight Nonsense: Exhibit A

Straight Nonsense: Exhibit B

Ways our child might rebel

Hello Sistren! The fetus is still cooking in my uterus, and is making herself known a LOT these days. I imagine she's possibly perfecting her dance moves, practicing punching Nazis, or just asserting her Strong Leadership Skills by reminding me who's really in charge around here. As The Librarian and I have been talking a lot about future parenting, one thing we've postulated about is how our child might rebel or otherwise assert that she is different from her totally dorky moms. Here's a short list of how that might happen, in no particular order. Hoping our offspring doesn't find this list and use it for #inspo as she enters her teen years. Not all of these are bad; some are things we'd have to phone a friend in if the kid wants support in her interests of which we have no clue.

Speaking of which, I am SO excited to embarrass a teenager! I will be so good at it! Making a mental list of things that will cause her to roll her eyes- feel free to offer your own suggestions! But that's a list for another day.

Ways our Child Might Rebel/ Distinguish herself from her Totally Uncool Moms

1. Become a rabid Republican. This would seriously be the worst. We of course plan on taking her to marches (and she has march-ready onesies that say "Abolish ICE" and "The Future is Female") and talking to her about the dangers of claiming to be "socially liberal but fiscally conservative" (thank u, next) so this would be a great way for her to stab her moms in our lefty hearts. If she starts talking about states rights (note, her becoming a Libertarian would be just as bad), keeping people out of our borders in case they take our jobs, or that the woman's place is in the home, we will start researching de-programmers in our area.
2. Turn into a Hey Ladies!!! type. The Librarian recently discovered the hilarious Hey Ladies!!! series from The Toast (we miss you!) and got the e-book and it is so funny. But also sad as apparently some people are really like this. But what if our child thinks this is normal and acceptable behavior to aspire too? How do we prevent this? Do we go reverse psychology? Do we try to find a hippy school to send her to (but not too hippy-ish in case she becomes a CaitlinYourLife type)? Please advise.
3. Be a jock. Because the fetus is so active all the time we're afraid she might be a jock. And that's fine, but just way out of the realm of our nerdy experience. Because we are from (or at least met) in the great state of North Carolina, we can teach her how to shit talk at basketball games like nobody's business. But play sports ball? Way outside of our skill set. However, if she does play sports ball, I am ready to start the plan for embarrassing our teen by making great mom signs and yelling at her games! That could be awesome.
4. Hate reading. Since reading is important to both of our professions, we already have a bookshelf or two started for the kid! And an Amazon wish list! Buying books for her is super fun. But what if she decides reading is terrible? Or stays illiterate on purpose as form of rebellion? And then this leads to our number one fear! (See number 1). Let's hope not.
5. Really, really love gender roles. Our baby stuff is very non-pink, non-ruffly, and there are no giant hairbows the size of an adult's head in her future. What is up with those? Maybe our child will decide later that she's really mad we deprived her of this heteronormative opportunity and start wearing all pink lace or something. And want to wear makeup (we will really have to phone a friend in here, I haven't worn makeup since my first semester of college). She can do/wear whatever she wants, we're just hoping she doesn't decide to use clothing as a way to flaunt values of (see #1 above) what some folks think a girl should be. 
6. Have terrible taste in dudes like Rory Gilmore. This one came from The Librarian as I had on some Gilmore Girls and Rory (season 4) was about to go on a date with Trevor. What if our kid is straight, and has terrible taste in boys like Rory does the entire series? I mean first round Dean was fine for a high school boyfriend and all, but other than that, yuck. Especially as Paris was the CLEAR choice. But anyway, what if she insists on dating dudes who are douche-bro, whiny, asshats? What are two moms to do?

Anyway Sistren, this is our list! What are your parenting fears?