Speaking of which- I'm in third trimester! We're not sure how this happened but it feels wild. We're getting the baby's room together, have made a to-do list, and next month a friend is hosting a baby shower. The fetus is moving around all the time still, which still surprises and fascinates me. Thankfully I haven't seen a clear foot outline as that seems freaky, but I do see my body move when she gets enthusiastic in there. But anyway, on to the point of this post!
Ways The Librarian is the Best:
- Tries to feed me even when all food was my enemy. As I noted in my first pregnancy photo, eating while pregnant is hard. When I first started to feel awful during first trimester, she bought $150 of vegetarian protein things in desperation to find something that would work. Just tonight, I was feeling puny and realized I hadn't eaten enough protein so she made me eat something and I felt so much better. She's the primary cook in our house, and dutifully made me bland things, and avoided cooking her meaty things as much so the smell wouldn't send me over the edge.
- Taking over the chores. Sistren, I like being an independent lady who can do things for myself. But when growing a fetus this is just not always possible. Winter has been terrible and never ending this year, and The Librarian has had to do all the shoveling and salting. When we could only find 1 pair of yaktrax she insisted I wear them to navigate the skating rink that our driveway became (did y'all know gravel driveways are the worst in ice? We didn't!). I also can't carry many things as there's not much space in front of me these days. Many chores I would normally do now fall to her, and she does them all without complaining.
- Reminds me to take breaks. Similarly, I am not good at not working. During grad school years, The Librarian was great about making me take breaks. The same is true now. I'm growing a human, which is always work! The world won't end if I wait a little longer to grade papers or work on my research.
- Does all the baby gear research. This is where the librarianing skills really kick in! Since I first got knocked up, The Librarian started a spreadsheet (of course) with all the stuff we needed, and researched the best brands. So when it was time to make the registry she already knew what we needed and set it all up. I tend to look at the research, get overwhelmed, and close the web browser so this division of labor works great for me! My skills were best spent finding a photographer for a newborn photo shoot (because duh, cute photos are my favorite) and registering for cute clothes with rainbows, cats, and unicorns. Someone has to be the practical one, and in this case it is definitely not me.
- Is a true partner. I think this is partly our lesbian advantage here. In our centering class (which is the program we're doing for prenatal care, look it up, totally recommend it!) there is a little activity book, which asks things like who is going to do X job or who is in charge of making X decision. We were appalled that apparently in some relationships these things (like changing diapers, making the childcare decisions) are one sided. Is this a super hetero thing? Do people choose to live their lives this way? This is not how we roll, and we've enjoyed talking about lots of imagined parenting scenarios, how we want to talk to Fennell about certain issues, what we're excited to do with Fennell, etc. I can't imagine being in a situation where my partner wasn't just as excited and invested as me. We made this decision together, went to the appointments to make Fennell together, and that's how it will go. I mean, we know that we'll have disagreements, and that the first few months are going to be a terrible sleep-deprived time, and have vowed that even if we hate each other we'll get through it. Wish us luck!
To all my pregnant sistren out there, I hope you have a partner who's as awesome as mine. I am so glad I'm not doing this alone, and wouldn't want to do it with anyone else.
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| Straight Nonsense: Exhibit A |
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| Straight Nonsense: Exhibit B |
