Are you codependent? Or do you have to ask your lady friend?

Sistren, sometimes when you're in a relationship, it's easy to sink dangerously close to the depths of codependency. "Not I!" you may shout. "I am perfectly capable of functioning on my own! I am an independent lady, just like Beyonce!" Of course you are friend! But just in case, see how many of the following apply to you. If it's more than two or three, or you find yourself going through this list with a lady friend, you could have fallen victim to codependency. (This is similar and related thought not equal to another lesbian phenomena, u-hauling). It happens to the best of us, sistren, so we can forgive you. Now, for the list:

1. You only accept an invitation or ask a friend to hang out after checking with your lady.
2. You'd like to start a new hobby, like tennis or dream-catcher making, but want to consult your soul-mate first to see if it's a good idea
3. Choosing your job/school location based on the needs of your lady friend, who you've been dating for a whole two days now, or even like 6 months, because that's completely enough time to make important life decisions with each other
4. Converting to veganism/Atkins, etc, after a few dates (The librarian totally bought a vegan cookbook after our second date, but just explained to me that this is TOTALLY DIFFERENT from codependency, as she wasn't changing her dietary habits, just showing an interest in mine. And since I benefit from her possession of said cookbook, I'm not about to argue the point)
5. Spending a night/ a few hours apart is a hardship you can't bring yourself to bear (you may claim that you don't live together, but no one is fooled)
6. Things that you used to do by yourself- exercising, shopping, bathing, meeting friends for brunch- you now only do with your lady on your arm.
7. All of your stories include your lady friend, and you utter her name every other word
8. Your interests or beliefs change quickly and for no reason other than to be in sync with your woman. "I'm totally into rock climbing now, I don't know why I used to think I was afraid of heights!"
9. You would turn down something awesome, like a ticket to see Tegan & Sarah, if your lady couldn't get a ticket too.
10. Friends start to get annoyed with you because they never see you alone anymore, and you won't shut up about your lady friend when they do see you. This can often be accompanied by a tendency to not be conscious of things that should be private and canoodle with your lady in public. Just say no ladies, no one likes seeing their friends making out. As we've said in earlier posts, teenagers are not hot, don't act like one.

There are so many examples I could list here, but you get the picture. Ladies, as easy as it may be to get sucked into the relationship vortex, don't lose your personality completely. Merging is boring. I mean come on ladies- sometimes you have to hang out by yourself for some serenity time, or hang out with your friends sans-lady so that you can talk about how awesome she is and ohmygosh she's just perfect and don't they just love her too??!!