Valentine's Gifts for your Lady Friend

Hey lady-lovin' ladies, it's Valentine's Day! And before you scream patriarchy, consumerism, and heteronormativity, don't tell me y'all don't love an excuse to eat chocolate as much as the next we'moon. If you haven't gotten your lady lovah a gift yet, fear not, I am here to advise you! Take this list to the coop/animal shelter and get your lady something that proves your love for her.

1. A new kitty or puppy. She may have 10 already, but what lady lovin' lady isn't also a pet lover in need of a new animal companion? She'll love your new child, and you can stay up tonight coming up with the perfect Xena character to name it after
2. A poem written by you! What could better show your devotion than your own words? (The Librarian totally swooned at the librarian themed poem I put in her Christmas card- wait till she sees her Valentine's card! She'll be smitten for sure!)
3. Promise rings. You may have been dating for a long time, like a month and a half, so it's surely time to proclaim your undying love. Bonus points for getting them engraved with your names/initials/date of first date.
4. A painting of your face, in a lovely frame, for her to put right beside the bed, in her office, in the hallway.
5. A book of sexy stories to read at bedtime. Lady sexy stories, of course, which involve a lot of relationship processing and angsty internal monologues. Feel free to read these dramatically to your honey, she will surely fall for your words.
6. Chocolate boobs and other lady parts, to symbolize what you really like about your lady.
7. Tickets to a Xena convention, so you can celebrate surrounded by your sistren.
8. A season pass to the local roller derby/ softball team, and matching shirts that show your loyalty to your favorite team and each other!

You  may be saying, Not Allured, what about just getting her something special that she's been wanting for awhile but wouldn't buy for herself? No no sistren, anyone can do that, you need to get your lady something that will prove without a doubt that you're a lady lovin' lady, and you love her best.