OMG The goddess is strong within me today!: Over-Sharing lesbians

Now lesbos, some of you may feel that we have covered over sharing in the things not to say on a first date chapter, but we feel the need to elaborate. Lesbians like to share feelings, and we are no exception to this rule. However, as silly as it may sound, there are times when you can share your feelings too much. Think about it and you'll know what I'm talking about. We all have that friend (or two or three) who put every single feeling that goes through their soul on their facebook or twitter page. So much so that you don't even need to wait for a sad text to know that they've broken up with their lady friend and/or hooked up with a hot new lady. If someone who you haven't spoken to in years (like your old high school chum), but who is your facebook pal, can tell your whole dating history solely based on status updates, then  you are probably guilty of over sharing.

Tip 1: Don't get sucked into your social media sites to the point of no return. If you are ever tempted to update your online accounts in ways similar to the following examples, just put down the laptop/cellphone and go do something else: read a cheesy novel, watch the L word (or Rizolli & Isles, the gayest show that was ever not gay), play softball, etc.

• Why am I so sad/angry/depressed/verklempt today? OMG!!
• I had the BEST DATE last night! She's a keeper!
• "So you say you don't want to stay together anymore" or any song lyrics that are posted passive-aggressively to one person in form of status update. Just don't put up song lyrics, ever. 
• Woke up in someone else's bed this morning LOL!!
• It's good to know who your real friends are. (again, passive-aggressiveness is annoying)
•  This too shall pass (with no explanation of the "this", because we all know no one really cares or understands)
• I miss my baby/love muffin/ honey pie/ cupcake
• Jesus/Allah/Flying Spaghetti Monster Rocks today!!!!
• I'm so drunk right now! Par-tay!
• I'm sooooo tired! (tagging your lady friend, so we all know what you were doing- it's gross)
• This sucks! (again, if you don't specify what the "this" is, you sound like an angsty teen, who as we discussed in a previous posts, are not hot)

Tip 2. Things you should never put on your facebook profile:

• Photos of you making out/ making googly eyes with your lady friend. You may think it's cute, but it's not. Don't be 12, take them down.
• Angsty music videos- see tip number 1
• Links to articles about  being broken-hearted after a break-up, or how love makes you live longer after meeting a new lady friend.

Tip 3: Email, text messages, and other private messages exist for a reason. If you are tempted to leave long love letters to your best lady friend, or emote about how much you miss her sweet lady kisses while you are at work, click that "message" button and put it to good use! No one else needs to read your confessions.

Inappropriate facebook wall posts to your lady friend/ too many words are bad:

1. Marry me baby! I want to be your life-mate!
2. You are my soulmate/soultwin/soulbond, I just love you so much!!!!!
3. I miss you more than words can say, I wish you were sitting right next to me right now :'(
4. Last night was soooooo fun ;-)
5. It was just one time! Forgive me?
6. Good news- the test results are negative! :-o

What you should do instead:

1. Propose in person, even if you're all hip with the technology and stuff, facebook proposals are tacky
2. Send an email or text!
3. I miss you! (simple, short, and acceptable if your lady friend has been gone for awhile, like a week at least)
4. Again- text message. Text message flirting is fun!
5. Cheating confessions should be made in person, not in a public forum
6. Um.... obviously, in person again.

Other times when you should keep things to yourself:

When you have been talking to a new lady for a short time, don't divulge all your secrets. You may have made it through your first date following Indigo Labrys' advice, but that doesn't mean you should overshare on date 2 or 3! For an example of what not to do, let me share with you a text message conversation I had with a lady (whom I hadn't met in person yet) which caused me to cringe in horror, and stop talking to her:

Inappropriate Girl: Hey [note- never just text "hey" to someone, even your good lady friend, it's annoying]

Me: hey, what's up [this was my error- never answer inane text messages, even when you're waiting in line for something and are really bored, as in my case]

[standard text message about what we were doing]

Inappropriate Girl: So, do you ever want to get married?

Me: [internally] !!!!!!! WTF this girl is cray-cray!!!!!!

Needless to say, I called a friend, who advised I tell Inappropriate Girl that was an uncool question, so she would learn the error of her ways. I did- she was displeased. And proceeded to post an over-share facebook status. I can't remember exactly, but I think it was to the effect of "Guess I have to move on now." [Please note, we had never spoken on the phone, let alone met in person, so I wasn't aware we were dating- see a future post on breaking up for more on this story]. I proceeded to ignore all her subsequent text messages. Let this be a lesson to you all, sistren. Marriage/children/commitment questions are never appropriate to ask to someone you are not actually dating/haven't been dating for more than a few months AT LEAST!!

To sum it up- your facebook wall/status updates are not a private love letter to your lady friend. Love letters can be fun, sweet, or sexy, but the point of them is they are PRIVATE between the TWO of you, not you and all of your hundreds of online pals. They don't want to know. No matter how happy you are, how much you want to shout from the rooftops about your lady love, keep it under control.