Late Bloomers: Lesbian Puberty

Some of my sistren have known they're gay from birth, or pretty close to it. They went through their formative years rolling their eyes (or pretending to care) when their straight friends went all boy crazy in elementary/middle school, all the while knowing that greener grass was just over the fence. Now sistren, I too rolled my eyes, but I had no idea that it was because I was a gay lady. I just thought I didn't care about boys; I didn't know I really liked girls. Ah well, we each have our own gay journey towards enlightenment.

I know what you're thinking- but Not Allured, you're SO GAY! Like SUPER gay! Yes sistren it is true, but until my early-mid 20's, I had not come to this self-realization yet, and even (gasp!) dated a few of the not-so-fairer sex. And these weren't horrifying experiences, I just came away from them with a feeling of "meh, I can skip that." (Much like the feeling I had looking at the non-date sweater, but thankfully that sweater had an awesome lady inside, which made up for its appearance).

For those of you who came out later in life, you probably went through lesbian puberty. You know, that time all your friends went through in junior high when they were giggling over boys and making you look at posters of Justin Taylor Thomas/Timberlake/Bieber, whichever the case may be, and obsessed over their crushes while you just tried to understand what all the fuss was about. Well, now that you've figured out that you're batting for the other team, you finally get it, and want to make an even bigger fuss about it. Yay fun times! I was discussing this with a straight friend recently, and she was horrified at Indigo Labrys's and my nonchalant discussion of this phenomenon. "But puberty sucks!" she proclaimed. "That sounds terrible!" We assured her that it was not so, for these reasons:

1. Your body has already changed! Your skin is clearer, your haircut is better, and your mom didn't pick out your outfit (hopefully). No worries here- you've already got it, and can flaunt it at will.
2. You may have already had some dating experience, so you have more of a clue of what you're doing (though hetero dating isn't exactly equivalent, you can use this formative experience to your advantage!)
3. You are older and wiser, and fingers crossed, can make slightly-less-awkward first date small talk (though who are we kidding, first date small talk is awkward by definition)
4. You FINALLY get what the big deal is, after hearing your non-sistren friends gush about cute boys for years. Now you can join in and gush about cute girls, which is way more fun.
5. You hopefully don't live at your parents' house, so it makes the potential for apres-date romance much higher, and classier! No making out in cars for you, newly out lesbian.
6. You get to experience butterflies in the stomach and all those goofy feelings, which are fun no matter how old you are.
7. You've done your homework and watched the L Word/ bad lesbian movies, and thus have had a distorted though possibly helpful preview of lez-sexy times
8. You know a thing or two about ladies, as you are one yourself. You may not understand them, but you are aware of this and have accepted it.
9. You're probably over 21 so can hop on over to a lady bar and grab a little liquid courage while checking out the hotties on the dance floor.
10. If your other friends are straight/ figured out they were gay before they finished teething, they can help you in your lady-lovin' quest and be a means of moral support. My friends were pretty awesome during this period of my life- thanks pals!

However sistren, don't get too carried away! Beware of these faux-pas:

1. Don't be too eager. The first (or several) ladies you meet may not be compatible with you, so don't try to force yourself on someone just because they're a lady-lovin' lady.
2. Don't jump for the first lady who'll have you, either. You're older and wiser, take your time choosing your new life companion.
3. Don't be a douche. You don't get to act like a teenager just because you're going through lesbian puberty. Don't date multiple people without telling them, don't get drunk and try to make out with your friend's girlfriend, don't wake up in someone else's bed and wonder how the heck you got there. Be cool.
4. Don't be dumb- safe sex is sexy. You don't have the excuse of youth and crappy sex-ed classes to make poor decisions, get yourself edumacated.
5. Don't be an ass. Review Indigo Labrys' tips for surviving a first date, and charm them with your suave self. 
6. Don't try to dress like Shane. Because you'll be spotted as a newbie immediately.
7. Don't try to be "the most lesbianest lesbian that was ever lesbian," and suddenly get all more-lesbian-than-thou, judging your bisexual/queer/straight/trans friends as not as cool as you
8. Don't try to force your other queer-but-don't-know-it friends (or really cute straight girls) out of the closet- each in their own time, sistren.
9. Don't immediately take up: softball, cat herding, poetry writing, drum circle playing, potluck attending, homo depot shopping, spoken word performing, interpretive dancing, etc., unless you actually enjoy these activities.
10. Don't feel like you have to rearrange your whole life just because you came out- you're still you! Unless you were previously a nun or fundamentalist, in which case complete change is probably necessary.

So if you feel like you're a little tardy to the party, don't stress. The lady train is always boarding.