Keepin' it in the family: Lesbian Incest

Now sistren, we all know that our lesbo community can be small. Sometimes too small. Trying to avoid your ex? It's difficult when you run into her at the queer dance party/roller derby/ natural food store all the time. Want to go on a date with the hot new girl you spied at the lady book club? She's already dated your best friend's exes' ex. Yes my friends, we are talking about the sad inevitability of lesbian incest. 

Don't confuse this with the everyday use of the term- as lesbians, you know what I mean. Lesbian incest if the phenomena of every-girl-dating-every-other-girl-in-your-lesbo-peer-group, creating a complicated web of dating insanity. It's like that one episode of the L Word (please, don't pretend that you didn't watch it), but you don't have to be all anal-retentive about it and create an actual chart. Unless you are trying to track the love of your life and see how many of your exes/hook-ups she has had relations with, and then go on and chart away. Then you can see how much processing you'll have to do before you U-haul yourself to domestic-partnered bliss!

Anyway, how much connectedness is too much connectedness? I mean, my fellow blogger and I are totally connected through 1 degree of separation (but we totally don't count ourselves as this! It barely counts! I swear!!). But I think we've all been in situations where you  just want to tell your friends to go outside the circle already and find some new lady pools to dip in!

Take a look at this list. If 2 or more ring a bell, you may be guilty of the various subtle shades of lesbian incest:

1. You're besties with your ex(es)
2. All your friends are exes
3. You met your current lady friend through your ex girlfriend
4. Your lady friend is your roommate's ex, but she's totally over her so it's cool
5. When you meet a new potential lady friend, you slyly ask your friends if they knew her, in the Biblical sense
6. Your girlfriend's ex is now dating your ex, and the four of you have potlucks together regularly
7. You and your friends swap lady friends so much it's like that show Friends, but GAY!! I guess that would mean it's like the L Word, like when Shane started dating Jenny, so gross, amirite? But to keep myself sane I just pretend that season didn't happen.
8. Your girlfriend and you have a (or several) one-night-stand(s) in common
9. When I spoke of dating outside your circle of friends, you were confused and/or befuddled
10. Your current lady friend is also an ex lady friend

So ladies, while meeting special lady friends through other friends is a good thing, sometimes you need to make new lady friends, you know, just to keep things interesting and the gene pool viable. Give it a try sometime, you may like it.